Compromise – The 8th Deadly Sin
Sloth, Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, Lust, Envy, Pride – and Compromise.
If you’ve spent your life living it for other people, then getting to a level where you start to say what you want then negotiate down – the level of compromise – might seem like a step up.
Don’t get me wrong, learning to say what you want and stand up for what you believe in is a huge advancement…
…but learning to compromise definitely isn’t.
In fact, in the grand scheme of things, compromise is actually a huge step backwards.
Let me explain.
If you live your life as a push over, constantly doing what other people want, so they get everything the desire, then you’re going to be pretty miserable.
But, at least one person is getting what they want. At least one person is happy and fulfilled because they’re living the life they want.
It’s not you, but hey, at least one person in the world is happy.
Compromising is learning to stand up and say “Hey, I don’t actually want to do that. I want to do this. Can we meet in the middle?”
This is far worse.
Can you guess why?
Because you’ve gone from a situation where one person was getting what they want and the other person was not getting what they want…
…to a situation where no-one is getting what they want.
You get to watch half a football match. You get to eat a meal that’s kind of satisfying. You get to spend your time doing things that are kind of interesting but don’t really grab your attention.
And the other person gets the same.
You both walk out of the situation feeling empty and frustrated.
At least when you were a push over, one person was happy.
Now, no-one is.
So what’s the alternative? Should you run around just doing what you want and knocking anyone who tries to stop you out of the way?
The other option is to learn to negotiate.
This is different to compromising.
Compromising is two people (or more) arriving at a mutually unfulfilling mid point.
Negotiating is two people reaching a conclusion where both people get exactly what they want.
This means that instead of one party getting everything and the other getting nothing, or both parties not getting what they want, everyone gets what they want.
This means that instead of one happy and one unhappy person, or two unhappy people, you get two fulfilled and happy people.
If both parties want two different things, then find a way that both parties get exactly what they want.
If you can’t find a way to satisfy both parties fully, then walk away from the deal.
At least at the end of the day, both parties are going to be left fully in control of their own happiness.
So, if you’re living a compromised life, please stop.
You’re robbing yourself of truly rewarding and fulfilling experiences.
Learn to negotiate and / or walk away.
It’s the only way to take full responsibility for your happiness and become completely fulfilled, regardless of the world throws at you.
This clip below is all about compromise. It doesn’t really add anything to the article except brining a bit of humour to it so enjoy.
Then stop compromising.